Oi Carroll! No!

I love books and have a lot of respect for authors. I am constantly amazed by the talent I am lucky enough to stumble upon. I am also a big supporter of writers I buy more books a year than I can really afford and to paraphrase Carrie Bradshaw, when I had no money and it came to a choice between books or food I chose books, I feel it feeds me more.

Now you see what I did here? I used someone else’s words changed them slightly and credited the original author, this is a concept that Irish author Claudia Carroll doesn’t seem to grasp. I brought one of her books a while ago because it looked interesting and was part of an offer in my local bookshop and I started to read.

The whole setting and characters of the book felt VERY familiar characters have been practically lifted straight out of other more popular books and TV shows, now I don’t like this but, oh well, it’s not something I would moan about too much. The problem I actually have with this author is that she has not only borrowed (*cough* stolen) characters and traits from other writers; she has actually taken whole lines, jokes and descriptions, in most cases not even bothering to change them at all.

Here are just a few examples, and believe me when I tell you, they are the tip of the iceberg:

Carroll writes:

My top tip is to destroy all photos of you as a couple where he looks hot and you look happy it could set the whole recovery process back months if you happen to stumble across it at a weak moment

Anyone that watches Sex and the city will remember this line (book and show):

my top break up rule - destroy all pictures where he looks sexy and you look happy if you happen to stumble across it in a weak moment it could set the recovery process back by months

Carroll:
I’ve always thought the witch in Hansel and Gretel is a deeply misunderstood 
woman. She builds her dream home and two brats come along and eat it? 


SATC:

But the witch in Hansel and Gretel -- she's very misunderstood. I mean, the 
woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it

Carroll:

I panic dated... then I panic married now I've met the one

SATC:

I panic dated, now I've panic married just before I met the one

Carroll:

It's a huge mistake to think you can change a man, apart from clothes and hair that's it because mark my words once you pull at that thread the whole fabric falls apart

SATC:

The only things you can work on are their hair and wardrobe.
-But even then, it's a constant battle...
Be careful with alterations. If you pull the wrong thread, everything falls apart.

Carroll:

He’s like a cute seal pup… which you want to club

SATC:

He’s like a sweet little seal pup.
Which you sometimes wanna club

Carroll:

Girlies, I'm thirty-seven years of age, and I've been dating since I was sixteen. I'm officially worn out. Where is he?

SATC:

I've been dating since I was fifteen! I'm exhausted! Where is he?

I could go on, but you are probably bored already. This book is not written by Carroll. In the words of Chandler “So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it?” (Carroll in case you ever read this, this is called a direct quote. Notice how I mentioned that it belonged to someone else?) And while we are on the subject of Friends, obviously Carroll is a big SATC fan, but why just take lines from one popular show when you can mix them up with other great quotes?

Carroll:

Yesterday I was at rock bottom, today I’m at rock bottom, 50 feet of crap then me

Friends:

I really thought I just hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me

But no one watches Friends or Sex and the City any more do they? Oh they do? Well Carroll obviously doesn’t think that matters, but then they are American and she is Irish maybe she thinks it doesn’t count if they are on a different continent.

Oh no she also likes to plagiarise closer to home:

Bridget Jones:

He’s just a big knob head with no knob

Carroll:

He’s a big nob head with no nob (oh but she left the K off, that makes it different surely? Erm NO!)

Ok, now you pick on Carrie & co I will be miffed, you steal from the Friends gang and I’m pissed off but take from Helen Fielding? Oh no! You don’t do that, I love her and that is just not on!

What surprises me is that this isn’t a one off occurrence, Carroll has several books out and after reading a few reviews (I will not buy another one, one was enough) it seems she has used other people’s writing in these too. I am not the only one to notice that lots of the lines are stolen, yet surprisingly people still seem to be giving her four and five star reviews FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK but commenting that they recognise the writing (WHAT? That isn’t ok!) I am not going to comment on the bits she wrote herself, personal opinion is personal; in fact it was hard to spot her own writing so I actually can’t comment.

I am not happy about this, and I am sure that Claudia Carroll doesn’t care that she has pissed off some little reader in London but I will tell everyone I know who reads to never touch this woman’s books and I hope others do too.